My Approach

Couple and relationship therapy:

People usually come for couple therapy when there is a high level of distress in the relationship. They are often experiencing painfully repetitive 'win-lose' arguments and end up feeling blamed, criticised, dismissed, resentful, guilty, rejected, unappreciated, inadequate, incapable, distrusted, disrespected or devalued. They often feel stuck, don't know how to move forward and don't want to make things worse.

They may be struggling with issues in the relationship to do with trust, communication, betrayal, and difficulties with or lack of intimacy. They may be struggling with issues that impact on the relationship such as decisions about having children, difficulties with fertility, conflicting approaches to parenting, particular parenting challenges in relation to the special needs of their children, loss and bereavement, being a blended or adoptive family, mental and/or physical health difficulties in one or both partners, the impact of disability, the complexities of having different cultural roots, affairs, relationships with extended family and friends, relationships with alcohol, histories of previous trauma and so on.

There are different approaches to couple work. In addition to my training as family therapist, I have trained in Emotionally Focussed Therapy (EFT) for Couples. This is a link to the British EFT website where you can read more about the approach: https://www.beftcentre.org/. This specialist approach has a high success rate in achieving secure, resilient relationships in couples. Moreover, I love how the process of EFT connects immediately with the core concerns of each partner, within a therapy that creates enough safety to work on what is most important.

At the start of therapy, I meet with the couple jointly and with each person separately. This allows me to get an early understanding of how things work between partners and to learn about each person's relationship history, perspectives and concerns. The couple gets a sense of whether they (separately and together) feel they want to work with me. I can clarify if couple therapy is likely to be helpful or if there are any contraindications.

From the start I focus on creating enough emotional safety in the ways we talk in the therapy process so that each person can start to feel safe enough to talk about what is important.

'‘The EFT approach facilitates partners to move from distress to loving reconnection by transforming negative patterns of interaction into safe emotional connection……
EFT increases partners' ability to deal with conflict, helps them resolve old problems, and creates a deeper sense of emotional, physical and sexual intimacy and safety. Many people have 12-20 sessions but it is not a quick fix for relationship problems.
Therapy can continue for more than a year where substantial change is wanted and partners have hurts from this relationship and from their childhoods that need healing. EFT can offer consistent and lasting positive change.’ (Sandra Taylor, Co-Director of the British Emotionally Focused Therapy Centre (BEFT).

About Me

I am a UKCP registered Systemic Family and Couple Psychotherapist. I offer couple therapy in person and online.

Following a first career in social work, I became a systemic family and couple psychotherapist in 2005 and worked in the NHS for 18 years as a family therapist specialising in young people’s mental health. When you work as a family therapist with young people, you also work closely with their parents or carers to help them learn how to adapt and develop their approach to whatever situation they and their children are facing. I worked with the full range of mental health presentations and developed specialisms in the areas of self-harm and eating disorders. As a family therapist, I have helped many young people and their parents or carers to recover from mental ill health or to adapt positively to challenging realities such as loss, family breakdown, neurodiversity, and chronic health conditions. I love how doing therapy with people together helps them to make changes that become their new normal – understood and supported by those closest to them.

Preparing to leave the NHS in 2022, it felt like a natural step to shift to a focus on working with couples. In my personal life, my perspective on couples and intimate relationships was enriched as my children moved into the world of adult relationships. I had a renewed sense of how our pasts, presents and futures live within our couple relationships and of how important these relationships are for sustaining us through the ups and downs of adult life.

When we experience repeat patterns of distress and disconnection in our intimate relationships, life feels and is so much harder. Couple therapy can make all the difference. Please see below for more details about couple therapy.

I have a mixed heritage of European, Scottish and English roots, and a personal and professional appreciation of the richness that diversity brings to life. I practice as an LGBTQ+ friendly therapist.

Professional qualifications:
MA Honours degree in Psychology, Edinburgh University
CQSW – Diploma in Social Studies, Goldsmiths College, University of London
Certificate in Counselling Skills, Leeds University
MSc in Systemic Family Therapy, Leeds University
Tavistock qualification in Systemic Supervision, Tavistock Clinic, London
Externship in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)
Emotionally Focussed Therapy Core Skills Advanced Training (ICEEFT)

Contact:
I offer therapy sessions in person in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, and online on Zoom.
If you would like to find out more about couple therapy, please email me at aopsychotherapy@outlook.com to enquire about availability or request a brief conversation. A conversation or email doesn't mean you are under any obligation to book an appointment. Finding a therapist that you feel comfortable with is important, so a telephone call or booking an initial consultation session can help you decide if we can work together.

I work with

• Children and young people
• Couples
• Families

Special Interests

Like all UKCP registered psychotherapists and psychotherapeutic counsellors I can work with a wide range of issues, but here are some areas in which I have a special interest or additional experience.

Types of Therapies Offered

• Family and Systemic Psychotherapist
• Family Therapist
• Systemic Family and Couple Psychotherapist
• Systemic Psychotherapist

What I can help with

• Couple Issues
• Cultural Issues
• Family
• Parents
• Relationships
• Separation
• Sex Problems
• Step Families
• Trauma